funny computer stories 174

Customer: “I am not seeming to be connecting.”

Tech Support: “Ok, what kind of error message to you get?”

Customer: “I do not know, just help me!”

This is common. We have people who will tell us they saw the error message 10+ times but have absolutley no idea what it said. We are not psychics.

Tech Support: “Oh, ok, well, what kind of computer do you have?”

Customer: “It is being a Packard Bell.”

Tech Support: “Do you know how much memory you have?”

Customer: “I have 4 megs of Random Memory.”

There’s the problem — the customer doesn’t have the minimum requirements to run the software. You would think that once the person finds out he doesn’t have the right equipment to run a piece of software, it would end the conversation…but, alas, the following dialogue is more representative of customer responses in such situations.

Tech Support: “I’m sorry, but, you don’t meet the minimum requirements, so we’re really not of much use to you until you upgrade.”

Customer: “But, this is not explaining why I am not connecting! Why am I not connecting to your system!? What does memory have to do with me connecting!?!?”

Tech Support: “Well, if you don’t meet the requirements, there is no guarantee that the software will work at all, hence the system requirements. Because you don’t meet them, there’s really no reason to try and fix it, because it’s not going to work.”

Customer: “BUT, I HAVE A 28.8!! What would you have done if I had said I had 8 Megs!?”

Tech Support: “Well, when I found that you had four, after you told me that you surely had eight, I would be pretty mad.”

Customer: “This is not explaining why I am not connecting!! I HAVE A 28.8!!”

Tech Support: “But you do NOT have the MEMORY requirements for the software. It WILL NOT work for you unless you upgrade to eight megs of RAM.”

Customer: “I am thinking that I must be cancelling my account.”