A man was speeding along to his home when he crossed a bridge and was busted by a cop on the other side. The officer steps up to the car as the man rolls down his window.
“Do you know why I pulled you over?”
Thinking quickly the man replies, “Yes sir, I was speeding, but I’m a doctor and have to get to the hospital.”
The cop had heard this a hundred times, and asked, “What exactly do you do, Doctor?”
The man replies, “I’m a rectum stretcher”.
The cop hadn’t heard of this before and replies “What is that?”
The man explains, “What I do is work the fingers of one hand into the rectum one by one – then the next hand until I have stretched the rectum to about six feet.”
The cop then replies, “What the hell do you do with a six-foot a$$hole?”
The man replies, “Stick him at the end of a bridge with a radar gun.”